There is no easy way to bounce back from a relationship break-up, but there are some
things you can do to soften the pain and begin the process of moving on. Among them
are the following:
Stay healthy - exercise, watch your diet, spend time with friends.
Feel the pain for a while, then....hide the pictures!
Don't idealize the other (or yourself). Begin the process of seeing yourself and
the other realistically.
Don't play the victim role; it only prolongs the grief.
Speaking of grief, know the classic stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
acceptance. You will become quite familiar with them!
Work on your automatic negative responses. There are some specific things you can
do to change those automatic negative messages swimming around in your head.
Name your feelings - naming feelings activates the prefrontal cortex (the thinking
part of the brain) and calms the deep limbic system (the emotional part).
Talk it out with a friend and/or counselor - talking it out also activates the prefrontal
cortex and calms the limbic system.
Journal and/or write a letter to him/her (not to be sent!) - also activates the thinking
part of the brain while calming the emotional part.
Let your anger out on a pillow, boxing bag, tree, or any other non-animal, but don't
hurt yourself....and don't be too hard on that tree!
