Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Coming off a difficult relationship break-up?

  • There is no easy way to bounce back from a relationship break-up, but there are some things you can do to soften the pain and begin the process of moving on. Among them are the following:
  • Stay healthy - exercise, watch your diet, spend time with friends.
  • Feel the pain for a while, then....hide the pictures!
  • Don't idealize the other (or yourself).  Begin the process of seeing yourself and the other realistically.
  • Don't play the victim role; it only prolongs the grief.
  • Speaking of grief, know the classic stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  You will become quite familiar with them!
  • Work on your automatic negative responses.  There are some specific things you can do to change those automatic negative messages swimming around in your head.
  • Name your feelings - naming feelings activates the prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of the brain) and calms the deep limbic system (the emotional part).
  • Talk it out with a friend and/or counselor - talking it out also activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the limbic system.
  • Journal and/or write a letter to him/her (not to be sent!) - also activates the thinking part of the brain while calming the emotional part.
  • Let your anger out on a pillow, boxing bag, tree, or any other non-animal, but don't hurt yourself....and don't be too hard on that tree!

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